Search For A New Home
Kelley Vernon
“MOM! DAD! NO!”
“Come on Flower it’s been a month
since mom and dad died, aren’t you done crying yet.”
“Go away River, I don’t want to talk about it!”
Ever since mom and dad were killed by that hunter, Flower
hasn’t been the same. She is depressed and never wants to play anymore. She has
even stopped eating. I know flower and she loves to eat. She says she’s fine, but then she locks
herself in her room. I think it’s this den. I think we need to find a new home.
One that doesn’t remind her of mom and dad so much.
“What do you mean by that River?”
“Like, you know, to find a new home, a place that doesn’t
constantly remind us of mom and dad.”
“That sounds like a good idea River, pack up your stuff and
we will leave in the morning!”
“Great this is going to be wonderful!”
All night the brother and sister packed up their things for
morning. The two didn’t get to bed until about Midnight. They had planned on
leaving at about 6:30 A.M., but they both slept in until 10:00 A.M. When they
woke up they ate breakfast, grabbed all of their things and left.
“Where were you thinking of going
River?”
“I don’t know, I thought we could go to the big city, or we
could stay in the woods, but it’s up to you.”
“Well I think we
should go to the city that sounds exciting!”
“Ok, that sounds great!”

After all of their deep thought the
two decided to find a place to settle down for the night. They found a small
cave, that wasn’t too small or too big. The two talked for a while, telling
each other what they were looking for in a new home. They also talked about
what they might see in the city. Then, after
a while they both got tired and fell asleep.
In the morning when they woke, Flower went to get some water
and River went to find some berries. When they both got back to the cave they
had some breakfast.
While Flower went back
to the creek to fill up her water bottle once again, River started to play with
his favorite Toy, an old phone that his parents found for him one day, it
didn’t work but he didn’t care. It was a nice gift and that is all that
mattered to him. When Flower got back they left the cave and continued on to
the city.
As they were walking they started to see the tops of
buildings, and began to smell all of the wonderful smells.
But before they walked out of the woods, they
decided to eat some lunch. Flower remembered that she had a loaf of bread in her
bag and that’s what they decided to eat. After they ate they said their
goodbyes to the forest, then stepped out of the trees.
They saw all sorts of different types of cars zooming by.
They saw buildings higher than all the trees in the entire forest. People on
bikes, people rushing around on foot, and even a few mopeds. The two of them
were so excited that they had finally showed up to the city. They could now see
why some called it bad and why others loved it.

River was now very scared, he didn’t know what to do. River
had never really been alone before. He started to whimper, then a little girl
came along, picked him up, and took him home with her. The girl had thought
that he was just so adorable. River was struggling for a while trying to get
out of the girls arms, but it was no use, she was squeezing him like he was her new toy or something.
Flower had searched that whole park
three times looking for River, but she failed to find him anywhere. She asked
all of the animals in the park if they had seen him and they all said that they
did but that they were not sure where he had gone off to. Well, all except one
dog named daisy who saw him get picked up by a little girl and her grandmother.
She said that those too always picked up strays. She also told Flower that they
sold them too. This frightened Flower, she may never see her little brother
ever again.
The girl and her grandmother kept walking until they stopped
at a place with a sign that said “POUND” on it. The two then walked inside and
took River to the back room and threw him in the nastiest kennel. The kennel
was full of blood, bones, and clumps of dog fur. River was not sure why they
had put him in this nasty place, but what he did know is that he hated it. He
thought that it smelt worse than the squirrel stew that his mother used to
make, and that smelt like dirty socks.
A while later River heard the two talking about something.
“But Grandma I really like that one, do we have to sell him?”
“Oh I guess we can keep one.”
“Thank you Grandma, I love you!”
The little girl came back into the room and took River out of
the horrible cage and took him to her room. She made him a little bed Out of
pillows and this really soft blanket with hearts on it. They played in her room
for a while, until the girls grandmother came in to put her to bed.
As the girl fell asleep River decided to conjure up an escape
plan. The plan was that he was going to wait until she let him go outside to do
his business, and then he was going to run, and he was going to take that soft
blanket with him.

It was now morning and time for River to carry out his plan,
and to make sure that blanket went with him he carried it around everywhere.
First, he ran to the door, then he had to whimper so that the girl would let
him out. As soon as he was outside he ran like his life depended on it. He ran
and he ran until he found the dog park that he was taken from. He searched all
over the park until he spotted his sister underneath a huge pine tree. As soon
as he saw her he bolted across the way and then pounced right on top of her.
When she opened her eyes she was so happy that it was him that pounced on her
and not anyone else.
“River, I never thought that I was
ever going to see you again!”
“Me either Flower!”
“I am just so glad that you are ok.”
“Me too.”
That day the two decided that even though the city was way
more interesting than the woods, that they should go back home. They both
realized that it did not matter where there were, anywhere was home as long as
they were together. So they decided that they would go back their old den and
live there together forever.
So, Flower and I are now the happiest foxes in the entire
forest and that grand adventure taught us that family is the only thing you need
to be happy, not expensive things or new homes. We decided to keep the good
that we already had, we didn’t need anything but each other.
One thing I give a tip of the hat for is the plot. One thing I give a wag of the finger for is the details. You should go into more detail with the events of the story.
ReplyDeleteKelley,
ReplyDeleteI loved how well you described the pound in your story. I feel like you could have told us that they were foxes sooner,but it was still really amazing. The only thing that I would change is just saying what they were before the last few sentences.
Kelley,
ReplyDeleteThe theme of your story was very heartwarming and stood out to me. One thing you could improve would be to have the same person narrate the story the entire time. Instead of having River narrate the story at the beginning and end of the story and not in the middle, you could have the story narrated in third person the entire time.